It's not fat, it's awesome.

Her hips will check you and throw you to the ground.

We kid about Lohan all the time, but never about her sideboob. We always welcome it.

Dear Eliza, your ribs are showing. They remind us of the McDonald's McRib sandwich. Now we're hungry. Bye!

This will surely anger PETA. Which we fully support.

Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

It always happens a couple times a year: for a week straight Tara Reid makes the paparazzi take photos of her in a bikini, and for a week straight we laugh at her stomach.

Swimmer Ricky Berens accidentally split his uniform at the Fina World Championship in Rome. Or he just trying to use the swimming pool as a giant toilet. Who knows?

Somebody please warn Madonna that veins eventually explode after taking too many steroids. And her penis will shrink.

...or she wants to lick Quentin Tarantino's face. Which is it?

She has to be around 55-years-old, but Jennifer Connelly is still very much a part of our imagination as we daydream about doing it with movie stars.

You mean he didn't bang Alba? That's the only reason to be happy these days.

A little bit too much Viagra, Mr. Dole?

Yeah, Bikini Girl is hottish. She'd be just plain "hot" if we never saw her on American Idol and didn't know she was so stupid.

I always knew she had one.

Is that hair or just part of the bikini we're looking at? Confused.

This is what happens when you shoot your child out of a cannon and onto a Slip N' Slide. Failtastic!

He was one of our favorite broadcasters. Sadface.

She's either jumpin' or bangin'. Wait -- she's doing both!

But really, who cares? Older chicks are awesome and if you don't realize that you're probably and idiot anyway.